Loss and Sadness

Today I went to work expecting a great day. My young friend Chris Merris was coming back to TheraDoc, and it’s always a good thing to have sharp people around you.

The mood of the day suddenly shifted as I found out that Jeff Knell, another new friend at work had died over the weekend. I felt extremely sad all day, not so much because I’d lost a close friend (although I thought that Jeff and I were going to be good friends).

Instead I think it has more to do with the loss of that growing friendship, and the reminder of the transience that is life.

A few years back I posted about “Waves of Grief” where I postulated that our emotions protect our sanity by only letting us feel so much grief at any time. It also occurs to me that when we experience a loss, it gives us yet another chance to mourn other losses that we’ve hidden away in our memories.

Part of my motivation for making the leap of faith and taking a job in Salt Lake City, was that I was looking for stability. I really feel like I’ve found a place I can be productive, and stay with a group of people, who for the most part have been at the company for a very long time.

I had even thought, at lunch the other day with Jeff, that it was so cool to know that there were people who I could feel relatively assured of seeing on a daily basis. Of course his accidental death was yet another reminder of how transient and unpredictable life can be.

One of the areas in my life that I’ve worked extremely hard on, is learning to maintain friendships over time.

Jeff’s death reminds me that eventually we all lose each other, and how important it is to pay attention to the other people in your life.

Any of us can be gone without warning, and I’m thankful for the time I’ve been given with the friends I’ve met over the years.